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Thinking about thinking...

Does the shoe fit?

By: John Bourassa
Wednesday, May 23, 2007 12:13 AM

When you get in front of a customer, do you try to place yourself in his/her shoes?  Do you have sympathy (feeling their emotions) or show empathy (sharing their emotions) when they pour out their difficulties at you?

 

It is quite a delicate act to juggle and that is what I did today.

 

A woman, early fifties, walked in the office this afternoon, distraught and fidgeting.  Her lightly wavy, thick, salt and pepper hair sported at shoulder lenght, separated, revealing that her fingers are obviously her comb of choice.  Her casual wrinkled khaki pants and blouse showed more neglect than fashion.  Her countenance, devoid of any artificial enhancements, exposed her confused and worried hazel eyes.

 

We walked to the conference room, sat down and timidly began telling her sobbing story; you know, husband left her, lost her job, behind in her bills, property taxes are killing her, etc… She concluded by telling me the purpose of her visit; she needs to sell her condo to get out of that furrow she is in.  I truly sympathized with her.  I was touched.

 

She has a huge 1 bedroom, 1.5 baths condo, 1,340 sq. ft. in a 30 year old building, clean but almost in original condition and no washer/dryer in the unit listed with a discount broker paying only 2.5% to co-brokers and priced at $80K above market value. She showed me the MLS listing brochure of her condo, with no photos on it, but she came in prepared with her own pictures she took with her insta-photo Polaroid.  The $239K listing expires this Thursday. 

 

I knew then that I was her last stop for hope after everyone else must have turned her down.

 

I paused before replying to allow myself to shift my psyche to empathy mode. I bluntly explained the receding real estate condition we are all experiencing.  Because her condo is in my favorite farming area, I knew exactly how much that area fairs.  I open the MLS and show her the comps, especially the “pending”, an exact comparable to her unit except it is in a ten years younger part of the development, which it has a built-in laundry room inside the unit and and it is listed at $110K less than hers, $130K. 

 

She naturally vehemently defended her tired unit trying to convince me of all its merits.  At that point I knew her shoes were literally too big even for my 10.5 man-size feet.  I knew that I could not make her acknowledge reality but, I felt sorry for her.  So, I tell her I would list her condo starting high at $169K but she has to be willing to readjust the price in decrements of $5K every two weeks until we reach the market value or sell it.  I re-stated that one pending sale comp listed at $130K which will bring her down even more when it gets closed, perhaps at an even lower price than the asking price.

 

She retorts that she owes only $40K on it and she must net out, after all closing costs, $160K in order to do what she wants to do – moving to TX and pay cash for a house over there. (Anybody wants her, Tarvin, maybe?)  I tried to keep my composure while I told her that it just won’t work. She leaned backward on the chair, looked at the ceiling in dismay, shook her hair back while running her fingers through it as if I haven’t heard a word she said all along.  Meanwhile, at that moment I became tepid with an urge to humor her but I kept my sarcasm to myself  “You should have said so earlier.  In that case, I know this rich benefactor who would be elated to bail you out.” But I held firm and I stared at her silently.

 

Realizing that I wasn’t going to tell her what she wanted to hear, she stood up in defeat.  She proceeds towards the conference room door and, at its threshold, she turns around in desperation.  She tries one more attempt to convince me by pulling her last resort ultimate weapon - flattery.  She knows we advertise heavily where as the competitors advertise sparingly.  So, she compliments us on our great advertisements and on the wonderful reputation we have in the community. She confidently tells me “You (our office agents) can sell my condo simply by showing it because the other agency didn’t advertise it and it was shown only a few times.  So, my place needs to be seen; the more people you show it to, someone is bound to love it.”

 

I regained instant sympathy.

 

I exhaled heavily and slowly nodded my head; I shook her hand warmly and I escorted her to the door.  I remained strong and I softly said “$169K”.  She gave me a copy of her MLS sheet and said “Won’t you at least show it? My name and phone number are here. You can call me anytime to show it.”  I didn’t want to explain how the MLS protocol works and I replied “If I get a customer, I will”.  She left.

 

We both were defeated today; she for not getting what she wanted and I for being powerless to help her.

 

Tomorrow will be a better day.Yes

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Comments

Jeanne Breault
Member Since '07

Jeanne Breault said:

I had a similar situation...the sellers (Navy couple) "had" to sell for $249,000 to pay for furniture they bought after they closed, or they wouldn't qualify for a loan to buy where they were being transferred.  Not wanting to understand when I was telling them their home wouldn't sell for that, I took the listing with an agreement similar to what you wanted...they had to agree to price reduction.  I thought price should be $219,000.  

Gave them data on sales in their subdivision during listing period, showing prices going down, both solds and actives!

Finally got list price down to $229,000 and got a full price offer.  Home only appraised for $208,000 by one of the hardest working, most liberal appraisers I know.  They got mad at me!  Wanted a second appraisal.  I had no problem with that, but told them it would come out the same or less, because the appraiser had really stretched for the $208,000, and that I really hated to see them spend the money.  This was 5 1/2 months into a six month listing, which expired while offer was pending.

They finally agreed to $208,000 and the buyers' loan fell apart - the tip of the subprime iceberg!  

They relisted with another broker at $229,000.  It's still sitting on the market, hubby is renting in new city, they are completely out of money and now ruining their credit.  

I guess they just have an alternate view of reality, right?!

Frustrated because you feel bad for them, and irritated because they insist that if you just do the right marketing, you can sell their house for what they "need."  I always tell sellers, if you want what the market price was 2 years ago, you needed to sell 2 years ago!  

The analogy that seems to work best for me, though sellers don't always believe it, is that the real estate market is a MARKET, just like the stock market...just because your stock was work $100/share last year, if you have to sell it right now and it's only worth $50/share, you can't get $100 right now!  Then sometimes, not always, I see the lightbult in their head go on and they get real!

Yes, John, tomorrow WILL be a better day!

May 23, 2007 12:36 AM
Gary Szolosi
Member Since '03

Gary Szolosi said:

John your stories remind me of one of my favorite reads by Richard S. Prather who wrote the Shell Scott detective novels in the 50’s and 60’s. When I was in the Navy I could not get enough of them and enjoyed his whit and style of writing. They have since been moved to the archives and Mr. Prather died this year.  It is a shame because I would like to read a new Shell Scott book since they provided much entertainment in a prior life. However getting back on tract and addressing your post, I have had similar sad results.

A few years ago I received a call from a young single mother named Cathy (not real name). She was divorced and had a two year old daughter. Her parents had died in an auto accident several years before the call and they left her a trailer that was now rented to a family and producing income. They had owned the trailer with no debt and the income was nice for Cathy but she wanted the American Dream of owning her own home. She asked me to sell the trailer for her. After much discussion, I advised her that I was not the best agent for the job since I didn’t have a following or client base that would be able to get her a quick and profitable sale but told her I would find someone that did more work in that area. I located an agent and she listed the Mfg. Home with her.

It was about a year latter I got another call from Cathy and she now had a live in boy friend and they were about to embark on her dream of owning a home. The trailer had sold and she felt she had enough money save to make the deal work. I had them come into my office and we had a good conversation about the cost and obligation associated with the move they were about to make. Since Cathy had no family in the area, I kind of felt like the surrogate Father. I eyed up her new boy friend and he seemed to be a nice guy but I cautioned them that if they purchased the home together they might also consider making their relationship a JTWROS. Having two daughters I felt the need to add my commentary to the transaction, even though it was outside the parameters of Real Estate.

During the discussion I found that the boy friends credit was not the best and Cathy’s was just the opposite. She was a very bright and resourceful single mother and had a good job. After they had a meeting with the loan officer he said that he felt that Cathy should go this deal alone since she had the income and the down payment was all hers. We had another meeting and it was decided that Cathy would be the sole owner of the home.

Within a week they found the home and the closing went great and I had hoped that would be the end of the story. However since this story does not have a happy ending things got worse within two months of the purchase.

I received a call from a tearful Cathy saying she must sell the home because she and her boy friend are no longer together since he cheated on her. I explained that she has only owned it for two months and that to sell it now would certainly end up in a loss. She said no, I want to sell it for $30,000 more than I paid. After a prolonged conversation on why that wasn’t going to happen she said, I have to sell it for that because I bought all this furniture, a car and other items that needed to be paid off. I asked her did she want to include them in the sale. You know the reply.

I told Cathy if I listed it, I would only list it for two weeks at that price and then we would reduce the price every week and I told her that I felt that she would probably have to take a loss, if the house were to sell. That was unacceptable. I was saddened that I couldn’t help her but I also did not want to provide her false hopes that by some miracle she could enjoy a $30,000 gain in value in a buyers market, with no changes done to the property.

Since she refused to accept the fact that I could not list the property at her price, I refused to accept the listing. She eventually found an agent that listed her property. We are now in our 7 month and she is on her third agent. Same price, no sales. She has obviously found a way to make the payments and survive but it taught me that there are going to be times when no matter how much you want to help, you just can’t.

I have not had any communications with her since that day and I hope thing work out for her but not all stories have a happy ending.

May 23, 2007 3:41 AM
Phil Anderson
Member Since '04

Phil Anderson said:

Wow...we've all been there and done that....Very sad when it happens.  Thank goodness it's rare.

May 23, 2007 4:10 AM
Becky Troutt
Member Since '05

Becky Troutt said:

Love your posts John.  You explain in such detail that it's easy to visualize the whole situation!

Thanks for another great post!

May 23, 2007 4:54 AM
Joe Schutt
Member Since '06

Joe Schutt said:

Wow John! Your writing in incredible. I agree with Becky. I was able to visualize the whole thing, in detail, right down to her running her fingers through her hair and looking up at the ceiling.

In Boston we have had a lot of first time mini developers who overpaid for multi families to flip as condos. They got stuck in the downturn and still expect us as their real estate agents to get them out of their jam. The only thing we can say to them is that we can either price them correctly now and get you out of this with a little loss, or we can overprice the condos and let them sit there while you are paying carrying costs and get less for the condos in 6 months than you would right now from too many days on market.

Take your pick. Most, but not all, have opted for the first choice.

May 23, 2007 5:46 AM
Mary Welch
Member Since '04

Mary Welch said:

We see tough situations now and then in this business and I am afraid we will be seeing more. It is heartbreaking to see and hard not to feel compassion for people who are in dire straits.

However, it does not help their situation by giving them false hope that we can turn their property and get them back on their feet. It just is not realistic and we do them a diservice to lead them to believe we can work miracles. The market is what it is at any point in time. I think the agents who overprice the clients property is just prolonging their agony.

Thanks John for this story.

May 23, 2007 6:18 AM
Rick  Belben
Member Since '06

Rick Belben said:

Jeanne - greta analogy with the stock market!

Gary - you did help her in the sense that at least her ex boyfriend is not on the home.

May 23, 2007 6:29 AM
Sharron and Steve Lobman
Member Since '06

Sharron and Steve Lobman said:

My broker has been in the real estate biz for 37 years. He says that in times like this, you start seeing the worst in people.

The hardest part is to stay honest and true to your real beliefs.

You did the right thing today, and showed, once again the true gentleman that you are.

May 23, 2007 7:06 AM
Becky Troutt
Member Since '05

Becky Troutt said:

John, do you blog anywhere else other than here?  If so, please post the links here.  

May 23, 2007 7:14 AM
Todd Clark
Member Since '06

Todd Clark said:

I am affraid that we will be seeing a lot more of this. With the foreclosure rate on the rise, people coming to us at the last minute hoping for a miracle. I have sympathy and it is hard to see families that are going to be homeless, but they have to want to be helped instead of wanting to make thousands from their home.

It is just so hard to watch.

May 23, 2007 7:28 AM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

John, I really enjoyed reading that post even if the story itself didn't have a happy ending.

It's astounding to me. . . and Todd said it already . . . that people think they can negotiate with us to make something happen that 'ain't gonna'.

John had a solution to the lady's problem but she was so married to an imaginary number she didn't see it. And she will end up with less than zero otherwise. Very sad, yet it's like the joke about the guy who waited for divine help during a flood and turned down 2 boats and a chopper, then went to heaven and scolded God for abandoning him. "I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?"

This article by Joe Klock nails it.

http://realestatebhc.com/libraryimages/HomeSellers.PDF

I think it's recommended reading for any would be seller.

May 23, 2007 7:44 AM
Liane  Thomas
Member Since '06

Liane Thomas said:

John,

What a great REALTOR(R) you are! You gave her the best advice, you were honest, and compassionate. You stated facts that are backed and illustrated by MLS, and you offered her a solution to her problem--take the listing at her price with planned market adjustments. Hopefully she will be back, rather than waste even more time with overpricing her home with another agent. Well done!

May 23, 2007 8:09 AM
Gary Morris
Member Since '07

Gary Morris said:

John, excellent post. The type of sellers that you and Gary both describe are typically what I deal with on a daily basis because of my brokers business model (see my earlier post).

I have sympathy and compassion for the position these sellers are in and sometimes I wish there was an "Easy" buttom to push that would make their wishes come true.

May 23, 2007 8:27 AM
Auctions And Options For Real Estate
Member Since '06

Auctions And Options For Real Estate said:

Thanks for the great post and good writing!

Please, feel free to refer these clients to me. I know how to get through to some of them (maybe 10-15%) and, if I get them sold, I'll pay you a referral fee. It doesn't matter where the home is; I have auction experts available nationwide.

I'm not afraid of the tough ones -- really, have them call. You might get a check in the mail next month!

Diana Wilson

Broker and Auction Market Specialist

928-773-0999

May 23, 2007 10:22 AM
Gary Szolosi
Member Since '03

Gary Szolosi said:

Diana – No offense but I am trying to figure out if you were being sympathetic or showing empathy with your post.  I am not sure that selling any of the properties below market would solve these folk’s problems. I also don’t think a commission check was ever a consideration. Just my opinion but this may have not been the best place to market your services. Again, I don’t mean to offend you but the post just seemed a little to commercial.

May 23, 2007 2:10 PM
Auctions And Options For Real Estate
Member Since '06

Auctions And Options For Real Estate said:

Gary:

The post was about helping people. That's my contribution and why I chose to pursue this market specialization. People without problems have lots of options in traditional real estate. There are many others that we lament we cannot help.

My point is that there are some "non-traditional" methods that many of us were called to provide. If you knew me and my history, you'd understand that this is, in fact, a calling for me, and that my motivations are not greed-based. I keep reading posts about how sad we are that we can't help those that seek our assistance, and I just needed to share my ideas for solutions. Isn't that why we're all here -- enlightenment and tools for better service?

If we're empathetic to their needs, we'll consider all the options our expertise knows are available to them; and if we don't offer it, we'll refer them to someone who does. There's nothing empathetic about turning them away to fail just because you don't have the perfect tool for their situation; that's why referral networks exist in professional industries.

As a seminary grad school Ethics major, should-o'-been social worker, I am driven and believe I have something to offer those who need it most.

Wish me luck?

Peace.

May 23, 2007 2:51 PM
Klaus Nicholson
Member Since '07

Klaus Nicholson said:

Excellent reading John,  I think you did help by not giving her false hope.

May 23, 2007 7:08 PM
John  Bourassa
Member Since '03

John Bourassa said:

Thanks all for your comforting responses.

Becky, Why shall I waste my time bloggin withothers when I interact with the best bloggers in the world, you guys.

John

May 23, 2007 8:01 PM
Becky Troutt
Member Since '05

Becky Troutt said:

Good response John!

Was just curious if you blogged somewhere else, so I could check out those posts.  You do a great job at writing!

So.....go write something else!  LOL....

;)

May 24, 2007 5:47 AM

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My comments herein are not authotitative; they are humble expressions of my wanderous mind or they are recollections of my past or present real estate experiences, whether they are good or bad. Hopefully, someone may profit from them.