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Real Estate Magic!

Music To My Ears!

By: Candice A Donofrio
Sunday, October 14, 2007 10:44 AM

I've heard it said and totally believe that more than anything else, including death, illness, divorce, critters and things that go bump in the night . . . humans fear speaking before an audience.

In our business, we almost have to conquer that fear. Yet it never completely goes away. The best performers will tell you that using the butterflies as an energizing force is what puts their performance over the top!

Still, the more we can hone speaking and public presentation skills, the better we will be in our profession. We are on stage, it's showtime!

Found a great article comparing speaking to performing music!

Here's another one about presenting yourself . . .

Check it out, and I will add a couple of tips that have worked for me:

1. SHRINK your audience. This does not mean minimize or trivialize them. Simply envision yourself as a bit taller, larger. It will give you confidence. If that means high heels, do it. Or just stand up straighter. Or envision yourself as taller. You get it!

2. SEND your voice out. Imagine your voice as a long trumpet, and physically push that sound out to the very back of the room. Half the time you lose your audience it is because they cannot actually HEAR you. And ARTICULATE your words. Even overly so, just to make them resonate. With you and your audience.

3. (This comes via a mentor of mine from the 1970s who was THE voice of a huge cartoon production company) BE HUMAN. He used to have signs up in his classes "You're allowed to be boring" "You're allowed to be embarrassed" Not every point will sparkle. Some are mundane. The important thing is to find a way to connect and relate to your recipient and go from there. Some find too much razzle dazzle suspect. Tailor your presentation to your recipient or audience.

If you're still scared to talk to people, call me and I'll give you a pep talk!

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Comments

Larry Bertok
Member Since '06

Larry Bertok said:

I remember the first radio show I did, I was sick and full of butterflies. Now I just think of all the people I am able to help and it brings a smile.

October 14, 2007 6:16 PM
Gregory Bain
Member Since '03

Gregory Bain said:

Candice, I ain't scared of nuting! I could talk all day. It's just that no one wants to listen. And, then some smarty pants claims I ain't got nutin worth saying.

On a more serious note, I really don't like cold calling. I don't like to get telephone solicitors and don't want to be one. And, yes. When I talk in front of others it seems like time has stopped. I talk for 2 minutes and it feels like an hour. Oh, and I sweat, even on a cold day.

October 14, 2007 6:22 PM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

LOL boys~ Gregory you have plenty to say . . . I have always listened!

Larry, coming from radio way back I can tell you I never was too nervous, but the first time I was on TV I blew it so bad, confused two words with each other and sounded like I was speaking in tongues! LOL!

Fortunately, my co host was a seasoned pro and 'vamped' to cover me . . .

Cold calling, listing presentations, showings, negotiations are all forms of public speaking . . . it's easier when you can trick yourself. ;)

October 14, 2007 6:29 PM
Gail Griffin
Member Since '03

Gail Griffin said:

In my younger years I would just about freeze in front of an audience.  The butterfiles were overwhelming! I was horribly teased by my siblings growing up which caused a bad case of timidity. I have over come a lot over the years and I am always surprised to find the butterflies flew away somewhere every time I do any public speaking or presentations. I'm not very good at them, but at least the butterflies are dead! :)

October 14, 2007 6:42 PM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

Gail, you are probably better than you think! :)

October 14, 2007 6:43 PM
Shelly  Constantz
Member Since '07

Shelly Constantz said:

I love the butterflies!!  I had an acting coach once tell me, you need butterflies to get the energy up, now before going on stage, get them all flying in the same direction and use them to your advantage.  I picture my butterflies all flying with huge energy out into the audience, whether it is an audience of 1 or 100.

shelly

October 14, 2007 8:50 PM
Jana Davis & Virginia Houghton
Member Since '05

Jana Davis & Virginia Houghton said:

I used to die if the teacher even looked my way.  Some how I made it through.  I new I had to participate to get the better grade and would only hold up my hand if I knew the answer and I could give it in just a few words.  Now I am not shy, I have yet to meet a stranger.  It was fear of saying something wrong or stupid sounding.  My college degree is in early childhood education and I never had any fear standing in front of the classroom.  Back to school, night open house became easy too, I just pictured the parents as kids.  After all the adults didn't know the answers I did.  I have found this works with RE too.  After all I know the answers even if our clients think they do.

Jana

October 14, 2007 9:48 PM
Scott McClain
Member Since '06

Scott McClain said:

I used to the play the guitar although I haven't touched one in years. The only music I have ever been able to play from start to finish are songs that I have written.

About 10 years ago the priest from my parrish came to visit me at my home. He noticed my guitar in the corner. (I knew I should have hidden that thing in the attic!) He asked me if I played. I was tempted to do no I use guitars for firewood - "here is your sign" - but it was a priest ya know! So I explained, which was the truth, that I actually only used it as a form of prayer.

So I played a song that I had written. Call me humble but I really didn't think it was all that. But he loved and insisted that I play it DURING MASS! I politely stated that I would have to think about it. But over the next few weeks, or perhaps it was months - I really don't remember that part very well - I finally agreed.

The day came for me to do this and frankly I was so scared that I thought--uh, my bowels would move! But I did it and even received many compliments afterwards. It fact, one person even insisted that I record the song in a studio to the point that he even volunteered to pay for the studio time!

I have never been so scared in my entire life and I hope I never get that scared again. I got rid of that dammed guitar! hahahaha

October 15, 2007 4:48 AM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

Awww Scott you didn't really quit playing did you? Did you record the song? CAN WE HEAR IT? I'm a DJ, I love all music. Even country if someone I know/like is playing it. That's saying a lot for me!

Does not surprise me a bit that Shelly and Jana know the tricks! Almost anything can be reshaped using imagination. It's probably the most powerful, reliable thing we possess . . .

October 15, 2007 8:20 AM
Vance Remele
Member Since '06

Vance Remele said:

Very nice topic Candice :) radio Huh

You can hear a lot on the radio you just have to find the right station!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=D7-qMrJ0Kn8

Vancetube

October 15, 2007 2:46 PM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

Vance I wish you would tune into our radio show!

www.BounceRadio.net    7-9 pm Eastern time

You can even go into the chat room and talk to many of the Relibbers!

October 15, 2007 3:19 PM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

PS. On Tuesday evenings.

October 15, 2007 3:19 PM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

PSS Vance when I started in radio was 1978 . . . I played that song so  many times I had a disco meltdown!

October 15, 2007 3:20 PM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

Oh, and Vance just so you know, Donna Summer and I have the same birthday! :)   (OK enough I know, but check out the show!)

October 15, 2007 3:21 PM
Vance Remele
Member Since '06

Vance Remele said:

How does all that work? Candice I will what do I need ?

Speaking about WORK,  I been hearing  a lot of Rumors lately

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5GAYeXRRYqs

??

October 15, 2007 3:24 PM
Vance Remele
Member Since '06

Vance Remele said:

Candice ( Woman) do you like “reggae”  happy B day :)

Vancemon

October 15, 2007 3:41 PM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

Cool, here's what you do . . . you need NO SPECIAL ANYTHING. Just a computer with a media player.

Go to www.BounceRadio.net

You will see along the top, Chat Room

Go into the chat room and register (easy) I'm a moderator, I will 'memberize' you.

Then, below the chat room screen, you'll see "Listen Live" and it has a few different players to choose from, like RealPlayer or Windows MediaPlayer etc.

Hit one of those and it will start streaming.

So you can listen and chat, and we are on air, play music, talk AND also chat. It's pretty amazing what can now be done online.

It goes out all over the world.

And YES I like reggae mon, can't smoke spliff though, must keep broker's license . . . LOL

October 15, 2007 3:46 PM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

PS Vance our birthdays aren't till December but thanks for the advance wish from me and Donna! LOL (Dec 31)

October 15, 2007 3:48 PM
Vance Remele
Member Since '06

Vance Remele said:

Rut Row Mine is on the 18th Dec.

Vancebcake

October 15, 2007 4:06 PM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

COOL!!! The best month for a birthday ain't it? Everyone's already in the mood to celebrate. But sometimes you have to fight for your right to party . . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NdAUnnU9Ac

October 15, 2007 4:34 PM
Cathy  Clark
Member Since '06

Cathy Clark said:

A former mentor of mine taught me that public speaking was "easy".  Ha!  She said just be yourself.  Speaking to the masses is just as easy as speaking to your neighbor.  Pick out a few friendly faces in your audience.  By making making eye contact and smiling with them you gain confidence when they respond.  Then pick out a few more and pretty soon you're speaking to the entire crowd as if it were a conversation amongst friends.

The first time I ever tried it I was speaking to a National group of insurance convention attendees.  I was a wreck before I went up.  Less than five minutes in I had 10 people buying into my subject, nodding their heads and smiling.  It was a great experience!

My mentor also said, "You may be considered by many as an authority on the subject but no one is the expert.  So don't try to be one".

October 16, 2007 6:35 AM
Shelly  Constantz
Member Since '07

Shelly Constantz said:

I was lucky to be able to take the Dale Carnegie class when I was much younger, then I went back and was a graduate assistant for 2 more classes.  I love this course.  The secret to public speaking is talking about what you know!!  Start with a personal story (people love to hear something personal) and then tie it into your message.  You don't have to speak for a long time.  Be comfortable, be sincere and know your subject.  

Shelly

October 16, 2007 6:42 AM
Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

Candice A Donofrio said:

I have never physically attended the Dale Carnegie classes but I started reading the books 25 years ago and it's definitely good stuff!

I like going into a situation with the mindset that EVERYONE is going to learn today, including me, maybe especially me. That's my style . . .

I think whatever style is the individual's, they should go with it and tailor it to the audience, and it will fly like a birdie.

October 16, 2007 8:02 AM
Karen Weger
Member Since '05

Karen Weger said:

I am also a December B'day. The 17th. Candice you are always full of great things.

I still get butterflies just going on showings and meeting clients for the 1st time. It quickly goes away, but I feel it just before the meeting.

Gregory, I too hate calling clients, feeling I am going to catch them at a bad time, etc....That is why I enjoy working web leads so much, and e-mailing for the first initial contact.

October 16, 2007 8:34 PM

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Candice A Donofrio
Next Wave Real Estate Investments LLC

Candice A Donofrio
Member Since '07

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