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Cathy Clark

Cape Cod Real Estate

Free Speech, Gossip or Slander?

By: Cathy Clark
Tuesday, May 22, 2007 7:01 AM

Some of you may hear or read about a local news story here in New England.  Four town workers in NH were fired for "gossiping" about about their boss, on the job and in front of visitors to Town Hall.  Many here are questioning whether it's gossip or slander.  After reading the definition of both, I understand the difference is that the slander must have malicious intent to destroy someone's reputation and must be proven false. 

Regardless of the difference, gossip, by nature is malicious.  Most people don't participate in gossip unless there's a negative aspect to it. We've probably all participated in that excercise where one person tells a secret to another who then re-tells it to someone else.  By the time the secret gets to the tenth person, it is completely different and false.  Gossip can be harmful and ruin both personal and professional reputations.  This is especially true in small towns.  I have a friend who is going through this right now and it has caused her great mental anguish.  We also had a school employee who was victimized by viscious rumor and it eventually was relayed to students.

We all know just how difficult it is to terminate a municipal employee.  It's near impossible.  These four workers are searching for sympathy but they didn't have any for their boss, his family or his reputation.  And they won't get any from me.  I hope this gives pause to anyone, especially in the workplace, when they decide to participate in gossip.  By the way, an investigation did find the gossip to be false.  The question is, was it malicious?  Try proving it.

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Comments

Lucia Brooks
Member Since '03

Lucia Brooks said:

The old saying "sticks and stones might break my bones, but words can never hurt me" doesn't quite ring true any more does it.  People are using words to effectively destroy other people on a global scale these days.

May 22, 2007 6:09 AM
Phil Rotondo
Member Since '04

Phil Rotondo said:

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."

May 22, 2007 6:15 AM
Gloria Losie
Member Since '06

Gloria Losie said:

Cathy:

If you say you don't have sympathy for the workers, I'm with you.  Gossip hurts so many people.  It may start out as updating someone but can quickly become nasty.

May 22, 2007 6:36 AM
Cathy  Clark
Member Since '06

Cathy Clark said:

Phil, that may be true if you're Donald Trump and need to boost sagging ratings.

Yes, Gloria,  I am saying I have no sympathy for the workers.

May 22, 2007 6:46 AM
Laurie Skinkle
Member Since '06

Laurie Skinkle said:

I am with you! I have a home listed as power of sale and it sat for a long time with no viewers.  I found out that someone had started a (very false) rumour that the house had been trashed.  This malicious rumour cost a single mom more than $20,000.

I dispelled the rumour by having several agents from a few different offices preview the property that is in excellent condition. Unfortunately it took several months of the selling time away from her. It really makes me angry that people (and we all do it at least once in our lives) open their mouths with no evidence and no concern to the people they can hurt.

May 22, 2007 6:55 AM
Vance Remele
Member Since '04

Vance Remele said:

Hum

Rosie and the Don,

Free Speech, Gossip or Slander

Vance

May 22, 2007 6:58 AM
Lucia Brooks
Member Since '03

Lucia Brooks said:

Hey Vance,

Did you read my last post?  Could you please comment, I always like to read what you have to say.

Sorry for butting in Cathy!!

May 22, 2007 7:00 AM
Vance Remele
Member Since '04

Vance Remele said:

People are using words to effectively destroy other people on a global scale these days.

______________________________________________________

You are so right Lucia, people destroying others with words or trying to

nowadays.

Look at our politicians, I can't wait until the run up to the 2008 elections to see and hear the mud slinging in full swing , it has already started ie (Jimmy Carter) perfect examples of our leaders to throw mud.

Verbal assaults are a way out for some people, false rumors are yet another verbal weapon to ruin lives.

I wish those stick and stone days were still here, at least we just blew it off then.

Think about what you can and not say, if you notice your friend Jack on the same flight as you and you said HI Jack.... Ok I know you got it.

We have to be so careful of what we say today in fear of a lawsuit..

Destroying Peoples lives for no reason is what I  call verbal terrorism.

Vance

May 22, 2007 8:57 AM
Velda Miller
Member Since '03

Velda Miller said:

I agree, gossip isn't good for anyone.  I saw those ladies on GMA this morning.  At first, I felt the same way and had no sympathy.  Then I got to thinking about it and believe proving malicious intent is the key but also one of the most difficult things to do.  We don't know the personalities of the people involved so that makes it even more difficult.  I know a few people who gossip who don't have a malicious bone in their body but for some reason it must make them feel better about themselves.  So we really don't know if these ladies just don't have anything better to do or were really intent on destroying someone.

Had I been the manager in charge of these ladies, I would have handled it differently.  It might have ended in termination or it might have ended in a writeup in their file or maybe  even a suspension, but I wouldn't have just fired them outright.

May 22, 2007 9:06 AM
Mary Welch
Member Since '04

Mary Welch said:

I had a local termite inspector spreading rumors about a listing that it was "eaten up with termites". I heard he was spreading the rumors and found out he had bid the job and didn't get it. It had termites but wasn't eaten up. I have no idea how this benefited him business wise or personally to be spreading such rumors.

I live in a small town where this is real previlant. It is like a lifestyle. I don't believe anything until I hear it from the person or persons involved as I know how rumors are. Small minds talk about people, bigger thinkers talk about ideas, plans, goals, etc.

If I owned a coffee shop here I would call it "The Rumor Mill". Retired people sit around all day and talk about what everyone else is doing.  I frankly think they are bored out of their minds. When I bought my 2 bedroom house to make it into a gift shop, the rumor was my husband and I were divorcing and he was working on that house for me. That would have been dumb of him. Oh well, last time someone came to me with a rumor I told them. "What if what you are saying is not true? That would make you a liar, check your source, they may be lying too."

Don't get to hear any rumors anymore and that is fine with me.

May 22, 2007 10:10 AM
Cathy  Clark
Member Since '06

Cathy Clark said:

"Never believe what you hear, and only half of what you see"....My Mom.

Velda, you have a good point, but gossip, to my way of thinking is malicious no matter how you say it or who says it.  Does anyone "gossip" about good things? No, you walk right up to the person and congratulate them on whatever positive thing has happened.  Gossip happens behind the victim's back, is negative, and usually doesn't come to the victim's attention for some time after it's happened.  They're now left with trying to restore their personal or professional reputation. And the "Gossipers" have already moved on to someone else.

May 22, 2007 5:46 PM
Todd Clark
Member Since '06

Todd Clark said:

I had one property that the owners moved away because they didn't get along with the neighbors. After they moved anyone who came and looked at the property where met by the neighbors who would say the worst things about the home and the owners, they were even breaking into the property and stealing things.

They would say things like the owners didn't use the bathroom to save water, they just went pee in the backyard. Their deck was missing posts and they stole them right off the neighbors house. Didn't even bother to re-paint them, so they didn't match. Finally set up two small pin-hole cameras to catch them in the act of talking to potential buyers coming up to the flyer box and stealing from the back yard. The putting their dog's over the fence to crap in the yard and even taken crap and putting it under the deck to make it smell bad. It was just amazing.

My clients sued and pressed charges and all stopped with things disappearing and buyers being met at the flyer box. They were smart enough that when an agent showed the home they didn't say a word though.

It has now been over a year and I'm not sure what ever happened to the neighbors - They were renters, but last I heard the court case still isn't done.

May 23, 2007 7:43 AM
Velda Miller
Member Since '03

Velda Miller said:

Hey Cathy,

True enough, gossip is malicious but here is where the snag is.  Proving the intent.  Gossip is nasty, mean, unwarranted, negative, and a whole host of other adjectives.  By its very nature, one might assume the intent is to destroy the individual. The problem is in proving intent of the gossiper.  Was the true intent to destroy the individual for whatever purpose and to insure the growth of the tale or was it just these ladies getting together talking about someone because they didn't have anything better to do and to make their own pitiful lives seem better?  Do they sit around talking about people in general and everyone else knows to take what they say with a grain of salt?  Was their intent to destroy this individual, to cause a termination or demotion or general destruction of their personal life?  Does the gossiper 'gain" anything by initiating or participating in the gossip.  For instance, would speading a tale about the victim result in the termination from their job and that the gossiper could get promoted and thereby benefit from the action of gossip?  

I've been the victim of both kinds of gossip.  I can forgive those who are just idiots - they are a little blip on my life radar.  I CAN'T forgive the person who did that to me with the sole intent to ruin my career with a particular company.  I'm always extremely cautious in my dealings with that person now.  My revenge is to live a better life and to make sure they know it.  Actually, I should have sent this person a thank you card.  It was the best thing that ever happened to me because I left that company on to bigger and better things.   :-)

As a manager in a past life of barely above minimum wage employees, I  had to deal with an individual who liked to gossip.  I can honestly say that her "intent" was not to destroy an individual but I believe it made her feel better about herself in a strange way.   I had to put a stop to it but in no way was it worthy of a firing.  Now, if it had continued, that would have been the action to take.  

I'm just saying that I would have taken a different path with these ladies.  Maybe they have all been written up for this kind of problem before.  We certainly don't know all the details.  

Good discussion, everyone!

May 23, 2007 12:50 PM
Cathy  Clark
Member Since '06

Cathy Clark said:

Velda, you are absolutely correct.  Its the intent, which is why slander is so hard to prove.  I didn't mention it in my original post, but I was a victim of this, as well.  From a "friend"!  We now call her "The Mouth of the South.........of the Bridge" (we live on the south side of the Bourne Bridge which spans the Canal), and most everyone is wary of her.  However, most people accommodate her in many ways because they don't want to be next.  It's almost a form of terrorism.  She works in the school system, knows everyone and "thinks" she knows everything, which of course, she doesn't.  She's been very harmful to many people but noone wants to challenge her.  I did, once, hence.........

May 23, 2007 2:09 PM
Velda Miller
Member Since '03

Velda Miller said:

Verbal terrorism is a good description of gossip!

May 23, 2007 2:22 PM

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Cathy Clark
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