Thank you for posting.  My uncle is also gay and lived with us for awhile in the early 70's.  His boyfriend would come over regularily and I had no idea it was not 'normal' until I was much older.  It just was what it was.

You are extremely lucky to have such a great family, no matter what.  Possibly the legislators in your state (already legal in Canada) should focus more on the dysfunctional families having a hard time raising their kids rather on the legalities of gay marriage.

You seemed to have turned out just fine and I am pretty good too!

My uncle, too, is gay.  He and his partner were together for 18 years before the partner died of a sudden heart attack - I was 19 at the time, so that means they were together my whole life.  

I married the first time very young and was having an argument with my husband one day, so I headed off to Galveston to hang in my Uncles' (plural) gay bar.  It was one of the coolest, safest places for me to be.  All of the guys were my girlfriends and nobody messed with me.

Anyway, my uncle's partner sat down with me and after a couple of drinks (drinking age was 18 at the time), we began the mutual admiration society.  He told me the whole story of how he and my uncle got together (they were both married with children at the time)  that he really appreciated the fact that I never seemed to judge him and that he thought I really loved him, which of course I did.  At the time, I didn't realize that there was a judgement to be made about him and I told him so.  He died exactly one week later.  How cool was that to be able to have that conversation?

Even though I am now a good 30 years older (or so), in my heart, I still believe there is no judgement to be made.  People love people.  People marry people.  People rear people.

Cathy....thanks for the post. I am a Gay woman with 3 kids and I hope they speak of me the way you speak about your Moms.  I am a Canadian Citizen living in Los Angeles and will be going to Vancouver next year to be married. Sad that it won't mean anything in my adopted country but it means the world to me.

I'm glad that you went through with the post and didn't change your mind. You made my day. :)

Cathy I have noticed that if a state votes on something that is not condoned by the federal government then it makes no difference.  A legally married gay couple may get the same rights as a hetero married couple in your state but they still will not be acknowledged with the feds.  So no filling their income taxes as a married couple, etc.

In our state we legalized the sale and use of marijuana for medicinal purposes.  State licensed growers and pharmacies popped up.  One of my sons friends opened one of these shops.  His marijuana came from a state licensed grower.  His clients had verified doctors prescriptions.  Then the feds moved in and shut down these stores through out Los Angeles.  Because the sale of marijuana is illegal for any reason to the federal government.  And they are prosecuting the owners as drug dealers.  My son's friend was not worried about being shut down this way, he was concerned about doing his federal taxes.  He wanted to do everything right.  They require information that these pharmacies did not want to give.  Information other businesses are not required to give.  Most of these business had to hire tax attorneys to help them do their taxes.  Now they are looking for trial attorneys!

Jana

There is nothing more important than family.  In whatever form it takes, it is just the most important thing there is.  I have a most wonderful family and cannot imagine what it would be like to have "legislation" that wants to tear it apart - it's just mean spirited.

I am happy for the state of MA, and for you Cathy.  Great post, I hit the 5-star on it.

ds

My opinion?  As long as it does not interfere with the rights of others, it should be legal.  To each, their own!  Live and let live!

Oregon is fairly forward-thinking in this area and I support it.   We did, in one major county, but do not now (I think), legally support gay marriage, but we do now recognize many of the rights of partners in many of the metropolitan counties (I believe...I'm no expert on it...just what I see in the papers...).

Hey, Mary, Becky, Ron, Lonn, Mike, Sharron & Steve, Gloria, John, and Todd!   Please contribute to this!   You are the most prolific bloggers here.  Your input is of interest.

Well, I'm usually just a peanut gallery but I hope I will do . . . :)

Lived and worked in Palm Springs for 10 years. Huge, influential gay community. Made friends I still have to this day. Went to some of the most gorgeous commitment ceremonies I've ever seen and had the best times I'll never remember -- uh, forget (LOL).

I couldn't care less who people choose to love. Many of the gay relationships make far more sense to me in terms of caring, supportiveness and loyalty than their hetero counterparts.

Whoopi Goldberg had the coolest stand up in the mid 80s, where she tells a story about the birds on the powerlines and how they coupled, some with their own gender, some with the opposite and no one could tell the difference. That made so much sense to me.

It's like whether blondes should be with blondes or not. Or people with a great distance between them age wise. What person has the right to tell another who to love?

Cathy,

I am so proud of you for sharing such a delicate part of your life with us and I envy your blessed fortune to have not just one mother but two loving ones.

I live in one of the largest gay communities in the world and everyone seems to get along very well.  My customer base comprises approximately 30 percent gays (some are single gay men or single gay women or some are coupled). After closing, I have remained friends with many of them and I got good referrals later on.  

I have often wondered if being gay is a “condition”, or an “abnormality, or a “disease”, or whatever.

First, I thought could it be that God would have made such a big mistake by creating homosexuality?  But then, if he did, He certainly would have noticed it and surely would have correct his mistake way back then for He has the power to do so.  But he hasn’t done anything to rectify it yet. Therefore, I long concluded that He didn’t make a mistake and homosexuality is simply a part of life.

I also pondered over this:  If God didn’t make a mistake, then how does homosexuality happen?  Do teenagers, on the eve of their eighteen birthdays, make a harsh and deliberate decision to become gay for the rest of their lives simply to get back at their parents or to oppose society status-quo?  I don’t think so.  

I think that homosexuality is commonly a gift of nature.  Gay people contribute to our society just as much as the rest of the population.  Why can’ they have the same privileges and respect than everyone else?

Wonderful post, Cathy.  I give you 100 stars.

This is a very interesting thread and one I was hesitant to post to since I am opposed to the term marriage being used.  I have no problem with it being called a civil union or something else but I am a little old school on the term marriage. Someone’s sexual preference is up to them and I believe there is probably some genetic component that probably influences it and the individual doesn’t have a choice. Much the same as I don’t have a choice if I am bald, tall, short or anything else that was determined by something I had no control over. However, I have always believed marriage to be between a man and a woman, and civil unions need to come up with their own term. I believe they have a right to the same laws and privileges extended to united couples and would not oppose any law that supported that issue. I would oppose any law that called it marriage and it is only because of my belief that that term already has a clear definition and meaning.

I have always been of the mind frame that people should do whatever makes them happy, and it shouldn't have an affect on anyone else.  It's no body's business what any person does as long as it does not affect them.

I personally think they should allow gay marriage in every state.  Why does it matter that the two people that love each other are either both men or both women?  It shouldn't.  Love shouldn't be about man and woman only.  Love doesn't see those things.  Love doesn't see boundaries or skin color or anything else.  

It's 2007 and it still amazes me how ignorant this country and the people that live in it still are.  Up until earlier this year, I was in a 2 1/2 year relationship on and off with a black man.  I can not tell you how many times we were out to dinner or just out shopping and notice people starring at us.  Just plain starring.  I always gave them nasty looks back.  But what I really want to say is, What the F*** are you looking at???  Why do you feel the need to gawk?  We aren't bothering you, so go on about your business and stop looking at us like we have 2 heads!!!

It's too bad that people can't just treat other people as human beings!  Why do they have to have other stipulations to go along with it?  

This world be would be a much better place if people were more accepting of one another!!!

I am libertarian in spirit - not a card carrying member of the big L Libertarian Party, but a little l libertarian.

I think it is my nature to not fear or loathe homosexuality -- it is certainly not anything I have struggled with to overcome.

I simply am not concerned with what people choose to do sexually. To me that is private business, and none of mine when it comes to the sexual orientation of others.

I also stay clear of the politicization of sexuality. If I went into my political views here, I would be writing all day.

I can't begin to understand what struggles a gay person goes through in a society with mixed attitudes and prejudices regarding homosexuality.

The bottom line for me is that rights are rights and should be applied equally regardless of race, age, sex, etc. -- period.

I won't get into the marriage issue because then I would have to get into political ideology, alternatives to the institution of marriage, religion, language, law, tradition, change, and before you know it I would be confused, conflicted and babbling like a fool.

I'm just glad there is love in the world, and glad Cathy finds it with her two moms.

Like I've heard said -- I'm just a *** trapped in a man's body.

I went right past this thread. Oh, I looked at what Cathy had to say and then decided to keep quite and move on. Then I saw just how many wrote nice comments of support and decided to address what has become a hot issue at the polls. I believe this is one reason that GWBush (I hate that I share the same initials, but most in this area refer them to the George Washington Bridge) won a re-election. As for myself, I have asked myself if I may be homophobic. And, I don’t think so. If my son told me that was his “choice” and that is who he is, I could not love him any less or more. If he tells me that is who he is at age fourteen, I would be angry that he would make such a decision before he has time to find out who he really is.  However, does anyone really know who they are?  I would also be angry if he came home and stated he was going to be a "sanitation engineer" and did not need to go on to college. I don’t hold anything against garbage men and think they do a great job. They may even be making more money than I do with great health benefits, too. I just think that at fourteen there lies ahead of you untold fulfillment and enjoyment that goes beyond picking a career or sexual preference. I do not believe in an “alternate” lifestyle. I think that maybe we have provided our children with too liberal a view on what is a lifestyle and what (to some) is an enjoyable sexual experience. To me a marriage is between a man and a woman. While I would think that everyone has a right to be safe from hate crimes or crimes in general. I am against any legalized way to support any shared benefits between “partners” for several reasons. The first is that (IMO) it will over tax our stupid “benefit” plans. That’s right – money is my main objection. That may seem petty over such a major issue, but it would take me a year and a day to type out a full thesis on American taxes, Insurance, and other rip offs that are destroying our land. As a realtor you must agree that home ownership is paramount to a free and safe society. Should gay people own a home? Yes! As educated people you must agree that an education is essential for the growth of mankind. Should gay people be allowed to attend school? Yes! Should gay people serve in the military? Yes! As a matter of fact, there are a number of issues that can’t be separated into just a yes or no. Global consequences are far more reaching with everything we do or not do. This gay marriage issue has some of the same problems that face us for abortion, religion, hunger, right to die, immigration, jobs, and war. There are consequences to our action (or choices). I vote NO. I don't want NJ to follow MA. Sorry, Cathy we disagree.

Cathy, did you censor my joke or was it the system? Just curious.

I didn't think so, but then I can't figure why the system would censor it.

That just goes to show how touchy a subject it is in society.

I am a lesb**n trapped in a man's body. Let's see if that get's through. I would have said "gay woman" but it throws the joke off.

Is lesb**n now considered profanity or politically incorrect? Does this site police politically incorrect words? Which ones are a violation?

Makes me wonder. Oh well, fodder for another thread.

Cathy, I know one thing for a fact and that is that this post was probably a difficult one for you.

On the humanity side I think that people need to find happiness.

On the marriage side, I would protect established marriage as being between a man and a woman.

On the personal side, I have no experience with anything like this.

Becky - whenever I'm staring at a mixed race couple and the man is black, it's usually because I'm checking the guy out and thinking "I could go there!"  LOL

I know I'm going to be sorry for this, Gregory, how would gay unions affect our benefits any differently than if these folks were married to people of the opposite sex?

Belinda is in charge of the pot and spoon today....lol

No, this is still John's fault. Did you not read his post? All flowery and sweet! Belinda, my chain of thought is complicated to explain. And since I am simple I will walk away now. Peace.

Awww.  I wasn't trying to start a battle or even stir the pot - really (she says with an innocent smile)!  I am, like Mary, merely curious to hear all sides.  I'm not even in a debating mood this morning.

Never sadistic.  Twisted?  Perhaps.  I'm really a nice person - just VERY spirited.  Having been around the block at least twice teaches you a few things. <evil smile>

Belinda - I just noticed that there is a moth flying in your picture. Must have been drawn in by the flash! I think Gene can get that out for you.

That's not a moth, you silly man.  It's a Honey Bee.  Get it - Beelinda, SoldByBee.  It's my trademark.

Oh, I see!   Belinda has a bee.  And Cathy has a halo.  

Maybe I should come up with a trademark....

Bee, I don't think in any way Gary was indicating you were coming out of the closet. And, I would just say that to get the heat off of me. Really, a place to stay when I come for a visit to Cape Cod? See Cathy, I am simple. I will bite on that line.

I like it!  Thanks!

ooo - the pot and spoon goes to Gregory again.

By the way, Cathy, next time we get to Cape Cod to visit our builder friend, I want to visit you.  It may be next summer.

They live in Wellfleet.

Actually Greg I was happy to hear that it was a bee. I was trying to come up with slogans and with a moth all I could come up with was, Sorry about the loss, but I'm only a moth!

A bee on the other hand has a lot more possibilities:You won't get stung by this Bee!, To bee or not to bee. However, we have those pesky killer bees in my area and I try to stay away from any reference to bees!

We had the killer bees in Texas, too, but so far no fire ants, killer bees or armadillos here in the Pacific Northwest.

I use slogans such as "Get the Buzz on Real Estate in Your Neighborhood!" or "Call Bee to get a marketing plan that's as sweet as honey!"

Well, thanks anyway Gary. Now I just need to find out why Cathy is pawning me off on the number one sidebar holder. I mean Mary is great and I wouldn't mind staying there - she is St. Mary and all - but that's not Cape Cod.

Gary, you are so right, Harper, Ks. is not Cape Cod. You would have been bored stiff, but you are still welcome. Like I say, 'this isn't the end of the world, but you can see if from here."

O.K., Mary. I know I sound like a republican today but many in the democratic party holds some of the same beliefs. Maybe that's why there are some many on the fence to start a new party? And besides, I am better looking than Gary (insert emoticon). If he is still alive since I threw him under the bus.

Gregory, if you say Gregory real fast it sounds like Gary, sorry. Just let us call you Greg and it won't happen again. lol

Cathy I agree with you that same sex unions should have the same rights as opposite sex. I think many fear the unknown and that is probably why they are so concerned. As a society if it makes people feel better, call it a union, but I feel that people that have such long relations and then can't even visit, let alone make medical decisions, if their partner is ill is wrong. Why? Because the person lying in the hospital wants their partner there. As far as benefits and taxes, if two same sex people pay ino the system, why should they have less benefits. As the years go by many of us are finding out that someone we know and love is gay. They are just as wonderful to us, we still love them and we try to understand that they have the natural(born with) desire for the same sex as we have for the opposite sex.

Cathy, this is so great of you to stand up and say this is what I believe and why you believe it, especially that it is so greatly argued. Maybe I am getting old because I have reached the point in my life to not sit in judgement and to say live and let live but I am glad I feel the way I do.

As far as people getting benefits that they don't deserve, I think we should address the illegal immigrants that are coming to this country in huge amounts that do not pay into the system.

This group of professionals are also great people.

Oh, man! I was safe. I threw Gary under the bus to save myself, but Catherine – you dragged me back into this controversial thread with just a carrot and a stick. You are very sly. Here is the problem with the paying in and getting back the same or more. As with Social Security; some members of society were never intended to receive such benefits, or, as we like to call them, entitlements. That is the way the “system” works. Social Security has an age cap based on very old information from actuarial guys that said we wouldn’t live past a certain age. A society becomes GREAT, not by the wars it wins, but how it treats the less fortunate. The frame work to provide for all those citizens in need was a little bit of genius (some at this blog will disagree) where by the married members (this was back in the day) could receive assistance if the spouse died. No one gave question to a so called “alternate” lifestyle back then. As a matter of establishing rules and guidelines certain aspects of life were assumed to be proper and unchanging. Now before anyone goes indorsing change in the “benefit” structure, I would suggest you examine the many other issues at hand. One item for example would be African Reparations. Where, may I ask, will the money come from and how do you place a dollar value on it? Now, for the subject of Gay “Rights” and paying into the system: there are a lot of “unions” that were never consummated by certificate. Why should someone’s union be more accepted than say a straight couple who never ties the knot? There is even a movie out with the same premise – a comedy on the big screen will be a disaster in real life. We can have all the play on words that politicians love to get involved with, but someone must pay. There is no free lunch. There is no “alternate” lifestyle and I vote NO for changing the definition of marriage.

Now I am going to leave town for a few days until the smoke clears.

Catherine, I forgot to leave you this link before I left:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf-Q2rDd6Tw  

enjoy!

Gregory, I won't refer to you by your initials anymore!!!

Cathy, I'm proud of you too, it wasn't easy hitting the submit button.  Union - Marriage, black, white, mexican - under the law we all deserve equal treatment.  How about bringing a flat tax back or at least getting rid of tax breaks.

Realtor, Columbus Ga

Gary, well said. This was a tough blog to post to as I don't think any of us wished to make enemies but to definitely express our thoughts. I think we are all adult enough here to say how we think/feel without having to answer to each other.

What a great clip!!!!   Thank you, Gregory!   I forgot how great their sound was/is.   And so YOUNG!   Just like me (hahaha......)

Hey, Gregory....have you ever though about using more paragraph breaks?  It would make reading your responses so much easier for my young eyes... Don't take offense, please... :)  Or maybe they got deleted in the RElib process; I've had that happen!

A happy and safe Father's Day weekend to all!

Cathy:  I like the "Dr. Phil" reference.  And it IDs me from the other Phil, whom sometimes I just can't understand.....

Cathy, sorry I'm late to this post. First of all, I commend you, it was very courageous of you to share something so personal. Sadly, it shouldn't have had to be. Individuals are entitled to make choices and live their lives as they see fit when they live in a country that continues to fight for that privilege. As to my politics, I am socially liberal and politically conservative. A bit less government would be greatly appreciated, however libertarians will not win an election, we live in a two party system and people currently vote for the lesser of two evils.

Well, I took the dog for a walk and went to see my grand niece graduate from 6th Grade. I was expecting to see some harsh rebuttal to my opinionated slant on life, but happy to see I haven't been sent off to Siberia. Sorry, about my lack of paragraph's during my explosion. I tend to use run on sentences and never take breaks at a new thought. One of many faults. Everything flows very nice in my head; it just comes out as non connecting gibberish. That's why I give Phil R. the benefit of doubt. I think he suffers the same aliment (just a bit more profound). Anyway, thanks for listening and to Cathy I like your classy style. Like the song says, "we would love to change the world". Unfortunately, I am at a point in my life where I think if we do get to change some of it, we might just make it worse.

Cathy,

My father-in-law is gay. My husband probably had a similar experience as you growing up. His dad owns a gay bar and is known as Irene. He makes a very sexy Marilyn Monroe. When my hubby and I go up to IL we always go to the bar and I love it. Some of my closest friends I've had in life are gay and I love them the same as I love my straight friends.

Gregory, most of the time we understand your gibberish. Just don't stop blogging or we will have to come after you.

Quote: "I like the "Dr. Phil" reference.  And it IDs me from the other Phil"

http://media.point2.com/p2a/htmltext/73eb/656d/8c3d/8e0ade0c4c6736d660a7/original.gif

PS: I'm staying clear of this thread since I'm from the old school.

You're playin' a dangerous game there, Gene.... I have Photoshop too!

I never even knew the meaning of the word gay until I came to the US. I guess we had far too many closets back home when I was growing up. When I came as an exchange student, it was quite hard making friends and among the first few friends I did meet were two great guys who sang in a choir I was in. I don't have very meny nice memories of that year but I will always remember how nice these guys were to me. The second time I to the US, I spent a lot of time with a group of music majors at the university I went to and quite a few of them were gay ... once again, group of wonderful people! And ... BTW, I was always amazed how tolerant this small midwest town of about 25 000 people and the surrounding areas were ... just the tought of a gay church choir director brings a smile to my face (one of the guys I knew) ... then I graduated and moved to Chicago ... without knowing anything about the city, I found a rental right in the heart of Chicago's gay community ... as scary as Chicago seemed to me at first, the area I was living in felt like the safest place I could be in!

This country likes to teach other countries about democracy and human rights ... but where is the democracy in denying everyone the same rights?

Cathy,

Thank you for sharing your personal experience and bringing this issue to this forum. I am pleased the overwhelming response was in agreement with you. For the few dissenting opinions, I hope they will continue to follow the discussion and eventually realize gay marriage is nothing to be afraid of.

I am gay and was married in Massachusetts in 1994 during the week of our 10th anniversary together. Both our families and many of our friends travelled to share this extraordinary moment with us. We were very grateful.

My spouse and I have contributed to society in many ways during our adulthood in the past 35 years. I worked as a psychiatric social worker (prior to being a Realtor), my spouse is a physician's assistant. We both value assisting disenfranchised people to receive the same quality of services persons of higher income receive. We also volunteer many hours. Most of our friends (gay or straight) fight for equality and give unconditionally to help all people in society.

I was married to a male for 12 years and have a wonderful son. Our family now should be treated no differently. The only reason to prevent same-sex couples from all the rights of marriage is discrimination. The rational about social security, etc is pure garbage and the theory does not hold water.

It does not matter to me whether it is called marriage, civil union or something else, as long as all the benefits are afforded to same-sex couples. I will not discriminate against heterosexuals and I don't expect them to discriminate against me.