Vance, I sell waterfront homes and the number one question is, "how long does it take to get to the bay or ocean?" And, I always play dumb with the truthful answer of, "I don't know. Let's ask the neighbor." Almost always the neighbor claims the boat ride is 15 minutes. So, either time stands still on a boat, or, no one observes the "No Wake" zones.

But then, real estate is like travel into another dimension. A dimension of not only sight and sound, but of wondrous........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRNDRfbdK2M

Simply put - my house is better than any other house in the neighborhood.

It only leaks when it rains from the south and the wind blows real hard.

I let my grand kids swim in the lake.

Our well has never run dry and we have never had any problems with the septic.

We don't have a septic tank, it's on the city sewer system. (it was septic)

My house looks a lot better than any other on the block and is worth more.

another one...we've only ever had one alligator in this lake and that was ten years ago.

LOL...common, this is FLORIDA!

My husband I restored a home that was built in 1904. The movie Tom Hanks was in "The Money Pit" came out about the same time we were re-doing everything in the house.  It wasn't funny to us at the time but now we can laugh.  The ceiling fell in, the plumbing had to be re-done, the wiring, and you name it.  It was fun but so expensive.

"The views are unblockable."

And I've heard agents say that as much as homeowners.

LOL LOL LOL  I would never leave you Gumba! :)

Neither rain nor snow nor puppet earthquake . . .

Yet another home that may have had some settling from what  the owner disclosure states , has small cracks in slab, split floor plan.

Ah full home owner disclosure is what its all about.

view full disclose here .

http://www.cbs2.com/video/?id=59419@kcbs.dayport.com

"looks like a flipper to me!!

Geez!

I just saw ANOTHER in our MLS:

"With a two story home could have beautiful river views." WELL WHAT IF THE GUY ACROSS STREET BUILDS A TWO STORY TOO? Or a hotel goes in? Dee dee dee!

The best one though is with a property I currently have listed. The owner wanted me to call the sizeable washes 'creeks' LOLOL!

He told me, "We don't call them washes, we call them rivulets or creeks."

Not on my watch.

He sold it to an agent who is my seller now. We call them washes. :)

2 years ago I sold one and a second sink in the bath room would not function in the inspection.  The seller said "well that sink never worked since we bought it, we just never used it, you mean we were supposed to disclose that?" Needless to say, they had the plumber in before closing.  What are people thinking?  I was out looking with a buyer over the weekend and the dad was with us.  The house showed a settling crack at the front door.  Dad pointed it out and wondered if they had done some repair there and I did not see it on the disclosure and he said to me "if I had fixed that, I surely would not disclose it."  Whaaaaa?

It boggles the mind! People actually think they can fix and forget stuff.

That reminds me of one of the best ones I ever heard:

Seller complaining about doing something I reminded him he agreed to when he signed the listing agreement.

He told me that he NEVER READS anything he signs, so if it goes to court he can say he didn't know what he was signing!

I laughed out loud: "Then you missed the part where by signing, you certify that you read and understand it all. So will you be playing the role of amnesiac or perjurer?"

He laughed, I laughed and he didn't give me any trouble after that, LOL

I tell you what is a killer for me - Agents and Homeowners that call a retention pond a LAKE!

LOL !

Someone should post "Creative Descriptions"

That would be a funny post. :)

Another one...."Yes, I got a permit to add that garage...bedroom...bathroom! And I did it myself--according to code.

Waterfront!  =  catch basin has overflows after 4 inches of rain.

Waterview!  =  In the dead of winter.