Kids don't understand the dangers they put themselves into when parents don't know what is going on. Two years ago when my grand daughter was 14 she spent the weekend with us.

She had been online and just got off and the phone rang. It was for her. It sounded like an older man, I handed her the phone and stood there and watched her turn ghost white. This guy had found her online, told her he was her age and found her phone number. He wanted to meet her. It scared her to death. She hung up on him. I was hoping he would call back so I could chew on him but she was panicked he was going to come to our house. She got a great education that night, I am just glad we were with her as we had a hard sit down talk about these types of people. Her dad is a policeman and her mom an emt so when we got done, she got more. She was clueless. This is a tough society to raise children in. Be alert!!

Amen to what Mary said! I am glad that I am not raising a child now!

As with anything on-line, parents must be vigilant.  We cannot rely on these "hosts" to monitor our children.  My kids are required to provide me with all sign-ons and passwords.  Kids says things on-line that are entirely inappropriate at any age.  When my daughter first got her myspace, I edited her information, in her presence.  This, however, was actually an exercise in futility because her "friends" parents didn't do the same.  While my daughter's info was "clean", her friends' profiles had their school name, places and dates of birth, etc. easily connecting my daughter to them.

There are plenty of programs, like Spector-Pro, which parents use to monitor their children's on-line activities.  Sounds like snooping and an invasion of privacy right up until the time you identify the 45 year old pedophile on your daughter's facebook.  Well worth the investment.  My kids know I know what they're doing and what their friends are doing.  

Bullying is also an issue.  If your child is a victim of this, bring it up to the school.  My daughter was a victim.  I called her dean who said that she deals with this quite a bit and even though it happens outside of the school environment, it is still school related.  The girl who made the threat was immediately visited by our School Resource Officer (a member of our Town's Finest), brought to court as a scare tactic and put before a judge.  It was all a sham, but she was used as an example and the bullying at the school, in general, decreased significantly.

This group is pretty internet savvy so I'm probably preaching to the choir.  However, let your friends and family know of the dangers to their children and tell them to be ever-vigilant.  Some won't listen but some will.

Great Post, Lisa.  5 Stars!

Yes indeed there is need for caution children are even more vulnerable to exploitation and harm by bad people.  Engaging in a practice known as grooming, they shower the child with attention, affection, and kindness to make the child feel special. They seem to know everything a child is interested in, including favorite music and hobbies. Minor problems at home are accentuated in order to drive a wedge between the child and his or her family. To fulfill their evil desires, predators may even send their target victim a ticket to travel cross-country and the results, well you can guess what they are.

caution. Some families, place the computer in a well-traveled area, such as the living room. They may also establish the rule that the Internet only be used when others are at home.  Parents cannot watch their children every minute but limiting their access to the internet will cut down on some of the things that they will and can get into.

The Internet can be a useful tool but in view of the dangers that it presents, it must be used with caution and strict supervision especially with little ones.

Cathy I like your solution to bullying another suggestion is for parents to help their child cope by suggesting that he or she stay close to reliable classmates and avoid places and occasions where bullying can recur. A child with a good sense of humor and who knows how to talk his or her way out of a difficult situation can help more often than not, however, the child may be too scared to come up with something humorous but anything to deflate the situation should help.

 At all cost avoid being overanxious, and do not retaliation.

D.  You sound like someone with experience in this issue.  Your first paragraph, especially, was excellent in explaining how predators "draw" our children in.  Excellent comment!

Cathy,

Thank you.  I'm not even a parent.  I do like to read and I have a referral base to go too for important and current topics.

You should be, D.  It would appear to me that you have a unique understanding of the dangers facing our children.  Have you thought of Foster Family?

Cathy, thanks for the tip on Spector-Pro ... it looks exactly like something I've been looking for! Do you know if it also detects downloads? Either through messengers or file sharing programs? I need to find a way to block our teenager from downloading files without having to restrict him from using the computer completely.

Cathy,

The thought of being a parent is really not for me.  I just like to know that our younger generation feel appreciated, which would negate some of the problems they are facing like trying to find attention on the internet and in chat rooms.  I want them to feel that their parents are a source of comfort, love, advise, and should be a good example to copy.  It is therefore up to the parents to make them feel that way.  After all, children are a gift to parents and therefore should be treated as being worthy of that gift from our Creator.

Michaela,

It records everything from IM's to websites visited, downloads, emails.  You can also get snapshots of the screens as they appeared at the time.  You can block certain sites, words, phrases, etc.

A word of caution, though.  You'll read a lot of things that you may not like.  I've seen some teenage complaints about my parenting that I've had to let slide.  Realize that they are spouting off to friends about everything!

My rule of thumb is, unless they are harming themselves or someone else, or are in danger in some way I pretty much keep my mouth shut about what I know.  I have foiled a party that I read about on someone else's site.  I knew the parents weren't going to be home and that to me reads "danger".  I don't know the child or the parents but I was able to get the information into the right hands without implicating myself or my child.  If that was ever linked back to my child, there probably would have been some harsh ramifications.

Be extremely careful with how you use what you learn.

I agree. If parents don't monitor what their kids are doing no one will. It is our responsibility to take care of our kids and in the process we also care for the kids whose parents aren't. I feel so sad when one of my sons friends moves away because some of them I feel I've done more parenting for them than their parents ever will. I just pray those kids can find someone else to love them..

I monitor both my sons activities online and when needed I do like Cathy and say or do things I feel best. Cathy, I have seen somethings that I also don't like but then I've remembered when I was that age and mad at my parents so I let it slide. Keep up the good parenting and maybe, just maybe the world be be alright..

Thanks Cathy,

you are right, we can't go after these kids for every word they say or thing they do ... my concern is just about the important and dangerous stuff and about him following the rules ... as to the rest, well, my stepson and I are only 16 years appart, so I still remember that when you are a teenager, a lot of things adults do don't make sense :-) ... I guess everyone has to go through that phase.