It happens to all of us.  Especially down here in this market, the offers can be pretty ridiculous.  But. I explain all of that in my emails/phone conversations and face to face first.  If they aren't going to be realistic then there's no point.  I know in advance if they are 'low-ballers' or not.  If I lose some of them, which I have, and they go to someone else, it's that other sales person's gas and time they're wasting, not mine.   I've been doing pretty well lately, but they seem to come in spurts.  And I  NEVER  buy them lunch unless we're writing a contract or have closed.  

You did everything right...maybe buying lunch was premature.

Do you send them lists of houses to drive by then have them call or email you with the ones they want to see? I find this helps, if they are just tire kickers, they won't waste their own gas doing that.

I'm sure you did everything right, Chantal...  I guess that's why our COI leads are the best...  When I'm dealing with someone I don't know (meaning I'm actually showing them homes, and they came to me from my advertising or website), I probably bat about 50%.   But when I work with people I know from a previous sale, it's probably 90% (even for them sometimes we just can't find the right home, or discover that they can’t move-up the way they thought they could)...

If I find they want to low-ball, I'm OK with it to a point, and often if we are not successful, off they go into the rental market.   But I hope to help them another day, so I try to stay in touch.   To many, not getting a (low offer) deal accepted doesn't make me/you appear to be a good agent, so I have, and I'm sure will continue to lose future client chances there.   But those are the risks you take.   Ya’ cannot win if you do not play, right?

And I will echo the others on the "buying lunch" issue.   I don't buy lunch anymore, unless I know them from previous sales, and even then I try not to.   Usually, they offer and I suggest we just split it...   For me it's kind of a jinx...

Once they buy, there's plenty of time for lunches and dinners and friendship!

Boy...I know that's frustrating. Coming in the business, I set some pretty stringent rules on how I would work and who I would work with...mainly because of all the frustrations I saw from other agents spinning their wheels on people who just were not serious.

I agree with Cyd and Gary, but I even take it a few steps further. First, I have a "Buyer's Pre-Qualifying Worksheet" that I use on our first discussion...before we even meet at the office. One of the questions is if they are "pre-qualified" or "pre-approved." If neither...I have the following question:  "If I call a lender today and he/she has an opening available tomorrow or the next day, would you consider sitting down with him/her to determine what he/she can do for you?" This tells me right up front how serious they are.

If they say they are "pre-qualified", I still take it one step further. I know it sounds rough...but no one gets in my car unless they are actually "pre-approved." Anyone can offer up their social security number, but it at least takes a little more effort to provide that documentation for "pre-approval." And of course...even with that there is still no guarantee.

A first meeting at the office is mandatory...no rushing off for people just because someone wants to see something "now." And it's also not wise for "safety" reasons.

At that first meeting, which takes about an hour, it's very thorough and I do my best to sum up the benefits they will receive, as well as the long-term working relationship...even after their purchase. But just as a physician tells a patient what they expect of the patient before and after surgery...so it is for us. So I go into detail about what those expectations are (for both sides).

I also go into detail about the market...stressing that we may find some good deals...but we're not out to insult anyone and if that's what they are looking for...it won't be a good match for either one of us.

I also have no problem with them looking around on their own and (as Gary suggested) actually hand them a print out of listings and a map for them to drive by the properties FIRST and then let me know which ones they like. Again...if they aren't going to be committed...better to find out now than later. (My only exception here is if they are a very high end buyer or in from out of town).

I also stress the fact that time is valuable for both of us and that I realize they may see something and not have the opportunity to wait until I can show it to them. Then I give them some of my business cards and explain what to do if they want to go to Open Houses or FSBO's...I call it a "Get out of jail free card"...for any agents that might try to "hook" them coming through the door...they usually laugh and are happy for the education about the process. But again I stress "trust and loyalty" throughout the meeting.

I even go so far as to make sure they understood how we get paid, "I work for free until I'm successful...through the process I'll be loyal to you and ask for your loyalty in return."

I also ask two different questions:  "How soon do you want to be in your new home?" and "When do you need to to move?"  And sometimes I might even ask it as "Why do you need to buy a house?" The emphasis here is on want and need...because this can help (sometimes) sum up how quickly they really have to make a move...what we want and what we need are two very different things. Doesn't work everytime, but it does help.

Here's another question you can ask...word it how you may wish:  "My time is very valuable and I save my nights/weekends for folks who are going to sign a contract - Are you?"  Yes...it's blunt...but it's another way to see where they really are. Some will automatically say "yes" and others may hem haw around and say "well...maybe...we're not sure"...so it's another way to know how much time to spend with them in the car versus sending them out with listings in hand to use up their own gas and time.

And another question I ask: "There's a very good chance when we go to look at houses this afternoon, we're going to find the one you want. When we do...what will you do?" Again...anyone can say anything...but it at least puts the ball back in their court.

And finally, I am totally for Buyer's Agency Agreements. It's unfortunate that we have to have them...but at least it's one more step in the process to (hopefully) keep them committed.

And if all else fails, though I'm not sure how they are pulling it off, but I do know of agents that charge an up front $500 non-refundable fee to the buyer (and it does not apply to closing either). I'm guessing they have a pretty incredible buyer's presentation to get it...as many people would say forget it and go to the "free agent" down the street. I personally don't think it's a bad idea at all, but it would be very difficult to implement unless all agents started doing it...or you are just one phenomenal agent.

As we all know...even with your most careful screening...there are still no guranatees and people still "back out" all the time. But at least if you put the effort more on them in the beginning...you'll be able to see their true motivation.

I realize this might be very different from how many agents work...but my time and money are valuable and I'm not giving up either one to those who are not serious about the buying process. (Oh...and I'm just as bad with sellers - who only want to be marketers...I won't even get started!)  :)

Chantal: I know you are sensitive, aware, and thorough - so I doubt that you did anything wrong.  

Are you sure they are done?  Buyers are often overwhelmed in a market with so many houses for sale.  Sometimes it takes longer for them to decide - especially during the holidays when so many things compete for their attention.  They may yet come back if you stay low key about things and just stay in touch.  

More active approaches include:

Calling to share some BIG excitement about a new listing that seems to fit their criteria PERFECTLY?  

If you know they are motivated, can you fan the flames?  I call it "touching the pain and pleasure".  Reinforce both in idle conversation while you show houses, or when you send the "keeping in touch emails".  

Touch the pain:  Draw them out in conversations where they can describe the pain that motivates them to buy....  Ask them how they are getting along with their landord.  Do theyknow how much they are missing in tax breaks by renting instead of owning.  How many kids are sharing a bedroom?    

Touch the pleasure:  I bet you can't wait to own your own place.  Can you picture yourself coming home from work to your own house?  Did you know you can upgrade when you buy, paying up to 25% more for a house payment than rent, and get the difference back in tax breaks so that the end cost is the same per month?  I bet you cannot wait to start investing in your own financial future instead of supporting a landlord?  Won't you be happier living closer to work or family?  Let's make your dream come true!

Review what you learned while showing houses and talk to their heart instead of their head.  Are you letting them find the houses to see, using their "head list" of features?  That might not be the best for some buyers.  Some buyers make lists with their head and then buy from the heart.  They may not be able to tell you what they want in plain language.  You have to read between the lines and then make suggestions they would never have thought of...  When you do this you listen to their heart and "interpret for their head" to find a house that you think they will want.  Once you get the heart list, you then explain the benefits of buying the house their heart wants in "logical head" terms since that is their reasoning process.

These are some techniques that might help when a buyer starts cooling off.  Hope they help.  

BUT THE MAIN THING IS - Turn face forward and say NEXT!  Don't get stuck in a rut.  Don't fret and don't let this sour you or make you too cautious or tentative when the next buyer call comes in.  If you are too protective of your time as that will turn off perfectly good buyers....  

Balance is good, and lookey lous can wear you out.. But unless you really have so much business that you don't want slowpokes you are likely to sell more houses by going overboard with friendly, helpful, cheerful service than by being careful to avoid lookey lous : )

Lonn very good post, I could not have said it better! I am liking the new Lonn that was the old Lonn!

Chantal, it sounds like you did everything right, and then some (you might check your auto liablity insurance for driving them around-if they are serious, they will follow you).  I have been burned the same way, generally once or twice a year-as a buyers agent, if you get sour you will see homes sell to them with other agents. You would not want to buy anything from someone who you thought was angry with you, would you?  There are still many hungry agents competing for rare buyers so we have to park our egos and listen to our clients.

Some of these folks have come back to me later and bought and would not dream of working with anyone else. Even as much as 2 years working with them on and off.  We laugh about how much they put me through and generally are a great source of referrals and testimonials.  They may even have referrals for you now or before they make a decision that may buy a home before they do.

Lonn is right in that if these folks have not moved on to another agent you definitely should stay in touch with them. But gently set some ground rules now in that they will need to drive by the property first and only take them to see multiple homes from time to time when they see a few they really like.  Attitude is everything and buying a home a huge decision, patience is a virtue for us. Keep it light and try not to get angry. The amount of homes on the market is overwhelming for buyers right now.  

They can be preapproved, have the motivation with expiring leases and/or relocation benefits, pass all of your screening and still put on the brakes. The media keeps telling them that they can get good deals and lowball for a home.  When that is not successful, or heaven forbid,  you advise them to be prepared for a counter offer, this is truly a test of their motivation and loyalty. Once they have educated themselves with these failed attempts (yes, it can be multiple attempts) and miss something that they really did want, they will tune in and ask you "do you think they will accept this offer? we really want this one!"  Or, they will move on and so will you. Some paychecks take more hours than others.

Being in a "relationship business" it can be hard not to take things personally - try to follow your gut after spending some time with them.  You should be able to sense if they trust and are being honest with  you - and if for any reason you feel that they do not, say "next".  We can't be all things for all people.  And truly, some people just do not know what they want and take a long time to decide.

Hang in there, winter generally brings this sort of buyer - it is hard to generate any urgency when the market is slow.  Once there are some competing buyers, these folks will go forward to do something. Keep your eyes open when showing homes to others for homes that might work for these folks and call them to go see if you find one.  Hope that you will be the agent to get paid for your hard work in the end.

Happy new year everyone!!

Chantal, you may need to grab one of the 'how to work with buyers' tapes from StarPower:

http://www.gostarpower.com/Shop/prod_detail.asp

BELIEEEEVE ME, I am not a fan of spending big bucks on such things. This is a few bucks (50) and the buyer agent interviews are good for insights. If I can figure out which of my agents has mine and find it, I'll send it to ya! :)

As for buying 'suspects' meals, I would suggest not doing it.

"We are here to see properties, not to have lunch. I will buy you dinner at closing, though."

Having snacks in the car is a good idea . . . indiv. packaged nuts, etc.

Do not be discouraged. Everyone's comments here have been dead on. It's real estate and 'they' are heeeere!

Chantal I missed the lunch part but I agree with Candice, who I would not disagree with even if she was wrong, however she is right on about the lunch part. I have found that when I buy a lunch, I normally kill the deal. Maybe I slurp at lunch but those that are interested in buying want to see properties. They seldom mind my grueling schedule of showings, which does not include things like a lunch breaks. I am not United so I don't serve Peanuts or trail mix. Buckle up, strap yourself in and get ready to review properties. That is my motto for the serious buyer. If you want lunch, pack one!

A very succesful agent in my office does this, and I am strongly considering it as well, having gone through the scenario you describe.  He requires a $500 fee up front from his buyers.  If they settle, it is refunded, if not, it is his fee.  Our market is very pricey, so that is a small percentage of the fee, perhaps it could be modified accordiing you your market.

If they are not going to do that, are they really serious?  Think of just the time it would save!  That would have covered your costs for gas and several lunches!  My concern is that 97% of my business is SOI and personal referrals, and I don't know that I want to throw that in.  If you do it for one person I would think you have to do it for all- talk about a possible fair housing issue!

Happy New Year to all!

Chantal - I truly feel your pain. I even had to "fire" a buyer that kept lowballing at very unrealistic amounts last year after working with him extensively for 6 months - live and learn.  You tend to meet these buyers, get to know them, you care about them and want to do the best for them but forget it's business.  And man oh man I really do learn a lesson with each client. :)

I don't buy lunch.  I've had to turn down them buying lunch on many occasions but I want to get them around, do business and then go home.  So I usually get out of the lunch thing and suggest that we finish up so they can go to lunch and dinner and discuss or whatever...

I love the idea of the $500 up front but don't seeing it happening in my area - especially with first timers...  Everyone here who responded gave such great advice and guidelines, that I'm going to print out for review now and then too!   As someone on this forum keeps saying...."2008 is going to be great!"  

Cindy

Your Sister in RE

here is a way to get out of lunch.  If you start early in the morning, and are going to go most of the day...  Plan to be back by your office, offer to drop them at a lunch place close by... so they can stretch, talk, get a bite, etc.  Tell them you learned so much in the morning, you really need the time to regroup and check to see if anything new came up, make some inquiries into a listing, etc.  Then you will pick them up (or meet them if they are driving too) to resume.

Bonus, you get to eat your lunch, re-charge your battery, check messages, etc.  without the client.

Shelly

Yes Shelly, that is smart.

An agent mentor of mine in Palm Springs, resort area deluxe, had trouble getting 'buyers' into her office 'just before lunchtime' and figured out a similar solution:

"I'm stepping out for a meeting but will be happy to meet you here at 1:30 for showings--here are some great places to have lunch, meanwhile if you're not from the area," and had a LIST of local eateries in different price ranges to hand them.

I sit down with ALL of my prospects first after they are pre-approved and have what I call the home buyer orientation.  I explain exactly what they can expect to happen and what they are going to need to pay BEFORE settlement.  Then we talk about the type of home and type of deal they expect to get.  ALL OF THIS IS DONE BEFORE WE ACTUALLY GO OUT!  If I feel at the Orientation that they may possibly be a time waster, I will either refer them to a collegue in my office or basically let them go away on there own.  This way if another agent actually does close with them, I still get paid a percentage and I only wasted an hour of my own time with them!

YOU HAVE TO GO WITH YOUR GUT!