If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This
is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day
at work ... think of this guy:
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 On
FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job Experience
contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
not so
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water
heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like
a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled t he hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate. When I scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into
the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers,were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of th e water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the
fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen
shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
day?
May you NEVER have a jelly fish bad day!